I'm cackling at a report in an Australian newspaper. It seems that condoms have been shipped in vast quantities to Papua New Guinea, to promote safe sex and combat the spread of AIDS: but corruption and inefficiency have prevented their proper distribution, so that they're being put to uses never envisaged by their manufacturers!
Despite Australia's best efforts to supply safe-sex aids to AIDS-ravaged Papua New Guinea, there's no stopping local creativity in finding unusual uses for condoms.
Local fisherman cut them up for lures, and women find the lubricant good for their hair and beauty regime.
Non-government organisations and various HIV/AIDS groups know all too well where many of those Australian-funded rubbers go.
As one NGO boss said: "If they're fishing, they're not f**king."
The PNG National AIDS Council Secretariat was recently described as "rotten to the core" with corruption, misappropriation and mismanagement amid news that two million condoms had been left to expire in a Port Moresby warehouse.
So where do Aussie condoms end up besides going off in storage?
Several fisherman took me out on Port Moresby's harbour to catch what they promised would be big tuna.
"The fish think the condoms are squid," fisherman Iewana said.
"Us coastal people use it, but it's more in the north by the New Guinea islands guys."
Other fishermen had told me they would raid any condom distribution point when the Aussie-funded rubbers bounced into town.
Asked about the raids, one woman said some of the sisterhood had taken to using the lubricant for their hair and skin and on rashes because they had heard it had healing properties.
Fishing - with condoms for bait? I've heard of a 'Trojan horse', but I bet the Trojan connection has never before been used on fish!
Peter
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