Today's award goes to a wannabe (but lamentably unsuccessful) burglar in London, England.
Perhaps he had put on a few pounds since the last time he went, er, window shopping.
For when this hapless burglar tried to break into a house at 2am yesterday, he found himself in a bit of a tight spot.
After attempting to slip in through an unlocked window under the cover of darkness, the thief found himself stuck fast in the tiny frame measuring just 12in by 8in.
Unable to wriggle out of it, the crook was left with his bottom and legs dangling outside the ground floor window for almost six hours until he was discovered by the astonished owner of the house as he came downstairs for breakfast.
Police, ambulance and fire crews were called to the address in Bow, east London after the homeowner reported the intruder's sticky predicament at 7.30am.
Two fire engines attended and ten firefighters worked to free him using a ladder to support the man's legs as bolt-cutters sliced through the window frame.
Amused by the spectacle, neighbours gathered to watch.
One resident said: 'It was hilarious. All of the neighbours came outside to take a look at his legs and backside sticking out of the window.
'He must have felt a right idiot. Most people wanted him to be left there. There is one neighbour who is a surgeon, and he told the emergency services he'd be able to get the burglar out without damaging the window.
'But they politely declined, saying they would rather get him out in one piece.'
There's more at the link.
I'm almost sorry they didn't let the surgeon have a go. With all the cutting remarks flying around, he'd probably have done rather well!
Peter
8 comments:
What a perfect time to practice some old time justice. Didn't they use to throw things at people locked in stocks. Considering that the posterior is the available target what about sling shots, darts, BB guns, etc? :-)
And when everyone is out of ammo, I've got access to an old flensing knife...........
... I am, on occasion, not a nice person - and I hate thieves.......
Sadly, being England, I wouldn't be surprised to hear that the homeowner was fined by the government for having inadequate window dimensions and causing the pain, suffering and humiliation of the criminal.
"With all the cutting remarks flying around, he'd probably have done rather well!"
Ouch, Peter, that was harsh.
Mental note - measure windows in my house to make sure I can still fit through them in an emergency.
"Charged with burglary", no property stolen so very likely a slap on the wrist and a very stern "Don't do it again."
He won't have any money so pointless suing him for the cost of a new window.
Insurance company will deny claim since the intruder did not break the window.
House owner now bears the cost of getting the window replaced.
Cynical? Moi?
Ah, but don't forget. As per (the much disproved) broken window theory, the burglar has helped stimulate the local economy by incentivizing the homeowner to purchase a new window. So maybe the burglar deserves some sort of commission for his "work".
First I'd scatter broken glass on the sidewalk. Then I'd take his shoes. Then I'd leave fatty there until he could work his way *in*. Then I'd charge he with break and enter and sue for the cost of a new window.
I am famously easy to get along with, so long as you don't break into my house.
Jim
Six hours trapped in the window is probably more than the British courts will give this guy for attempted burglary. They should have left him there, a la Winnie the Pooh, until he shrank enough to escape.
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